just a time from now

I thought I'd mention that there is a new-ish friending community, 2017 Revival, that I have joined because, frankly, while those who have remained on my friends-list throughout the ages are cherished, many others have moved on. The problem, I guess, with mainly being involved from the beginning with fandom and when that peters out, not entirely but some,not really knowing where to go next. My journal had become a little too one-sided. Me talking, no one listening. Can't help but wonder...why bother.
          So, I am now making new friends, those who post more about life, politics, art and such, and that, in turn, is making me pretty darn happy. Change is good. New friends are always good. So, just letting you know in case you are of a need to change things up a little too :)

One last thing. Livejournal has provided a cute little heart 'LIKE' button on the comments page of every post so that, if you don't feel you have anything to comment, you can click the heart 'LIKE' button and then people who are like me who get very very sad when no one comments to their painstakingly crafted, or not, posts can at least get 'LIKED'.And 'LIKED' is good. Very very good.
          I would like to thank connorblond for making me awae of this feature which, until he 'LIKED' something I'd posted, I had no idea even existed.
     Easy frickin' peasy. Yes?
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I have become shamelessly addicted to the above-referenced candy Shamelessly, I tell you.

Below is my personal stash, in the master bedroom, next to the bed where I can get at them easily. Most days I can satisfy my cravings with one single lollipop. But some days, I am loath to say, I will devour two. Never more. I know my limits.

They are a Mexican candy and can be found easily around the interwebs. Although, full confession, I have a local liquor store, within walking distance, bringing them in for me. Amazon has them as does the aptly named MyMexicanCandy.

If you do try them and find you don't like them, just let me know and I'll pay to have you send the remainder to me. No problem at all :)

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my dear LJ friends, that for the past little while, we, Daiv, Lauren, and I, have been on a journey that was not only unforseen, but that has been life-transforming, and that, simply put, has had some serious ups and downs.

That journey is really and truly Lauren's as she transfroms from who she has been, our sweet girl, to who she is to become, our sweet boy. A boy who will probably be named Aaron but, like the pronoun-shift, her name change hasn't happened quite yet, but soon. Very soon.

I've told pretty much everyone I know in Real Life and everyone I've told has been fantastic. Even those I was somewhat concerned about. Eveyone has been amazing and, interestingly, everyone has told me that they've known someone, acquaintance, friend, family member, who's transgender. I on-the-other-hand, until Lauren, had not. I assumed, while she was growing up, that she was like me, just a little less feminine than all the rest of the girls. No nail polish for us or pointy-heeled shoes or pastel colored clothing, us both always vearing toward the guy stuff in stores because we found their colorways so much more attractive than the girl stuff.

And that's why she was confussed as long as she was, thinking she was like me, pretty damn androgenous. But one day googling what all the letters stood for in LGBT, she realized that the 'T' applied to her. Then, a while later she told me and then, a while later she told her dad.

And now I tell you because I've always known that I was brought here for a reason beyond QAF and even beyond the friendships I've been privledged to find here. My journal in the future is going to become a place where I store the memories of this journey of ours which, I hope, some of you will take with us at least part of the time for part of the way. Any feedback I may get from you will be appreciated because, despite Real Life friends, I still sometimes feel very alone in this.

Lauren told me sometime ago that for some parents it's as though their pre-transgender child has died and while maybe a little dramatic, I can understand that. With each next injection of testasterone I give her, she becomes less woman and more man and I can't help but look at the photos of the little girl she was, the woman I saw her  becoming so clear in my mind, and mourn her loss.

Still inside Lauren is Lauren, a little more moody and tempermental than before we started the shots, which BTW will continue for the rest of her life, but she is also so much happier than before we'd started on this journey, when ahead of her all she saw was the unknown. Now she knows, at least as far as we are concerned, she is safe.

Thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

***

From the Very Short List


and
From I Can Has Cheesburger
Someone has got the sneezes really bad :)


-enjoy

To my sweet child. You're 21 today, Lauren, astonishing!! and we couldn't be prouder of you!
For ever and always, mom & dad

and

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...when Lauren is at UC Santa Cruz, she can be at the bus stop at 7:15am to catch the shuttle for an 8am class ON THE OTHER SIDE of campus, but when she's home and we go grocery shopping, if, when reviewing the grocery shopping list, we discover that we missed something A FEW ISLES BACK, when I ask her to go get whatever it is, she hesitates, then always says, 'Okay, but come with me' and I always do.

First, I say, 'Seriously?'

And when she smiles and nods, I happily trail after her a few isles back as she takes me to whatever it is we need.

Ever single time. And every single time I'm so glad that she still wants (not needs) me with her :)

The End

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