just a time from now

I've decided to just have done with this so another, and final,
day!!!

The Fifty Question meme
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? As I include myself within the category of --everyone I know-- since I do, in fact know myself I would gather-up my husband and my daughter today and I would take us to the beach where we would visit with the ocean until we all died together there tomorrow. I don’t care for this question.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No. In some real sense, I’m here for my child and she doesn’t care how attractive I am or how famous I am. All she cares about is that I’m here.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Awareness.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? Depends on what you’re calculating risk and reward about. There is no one answer that can fit all situations.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because we’ve been taught that mistakes are failures and no one wants to fail.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Not that much.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Last time I did meditation.

What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? There aren’t that many ‘whats’ that I truly love, only ‘whos’ still, I guess if I had to choose a ‘what’ it would be art and, for me, I express my love every time I put pencil to paper.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that? Some days I will remember even in five years because I take photos representing some days and put them, annotated, in a photo album and I write several times a month in a separate journal for my daughter. But every day? No. Not even close.

Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? A little of both because, life is, whether we like it or not, whether we want to admit it or not, about compromise. The decisions I make affect others and their decisions affect me and we have to be aware of that very reality. I’m not doing this on my own. No one is.

Fifty ALL done out of fifty :D

The Fifty Question meme

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Either way I would lose half of myself so, I have no answer for this.

Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? I think that people who don’t challenge accepted truths don’t know themselves, they simply go along the same paths that others have made for them, blindly accepting something as true simply because someone before them said it was true.

Has your greatest fear ever come true? Hell no.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now? Yes, frankly, it does.

What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special? I have no one happiest memory. A number of happy memories revolve around afternoons spent at Pacific Beach in San Diego. Just my parents and me, the soft sun, the warm surf, and a distant radio usually playing a baseball game or music. I loved playing in the waves and lying on my towel afterwards, dozing as the sun dried me. We’d play cards, read, eat a picnic lunch and then as the sun set, we’d walk home to our little four-plex apartment, pretty tired out from an afternoon of doing pretty much nothing.

Thirty done out of fifty :)

The Fifty Question meme

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? I would admire them less, respect them less and, without much trepidation, put in a least a little of my two-cents about the friend they’re disrespecting. Distasteful and unjustifiable criticism, especially behind someone’s back, shouldn’t be tolerated.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
My mother’s advice to me: Leave a place as good as, if not better than, you found it.
My daughter’s advice: Don’t judge until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes.

Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? I saw in one person both at the same time and it was a little scary, he was a little scary. But he was a friend, a good friend so I dealt with him as best as I could for as long as I could.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people? If given a situation, any situation to be accomplished, no matter how small, no matter how big, my mind scatter-shots to every single little tiny thing that will have to be done to make that happen. To every single little tiny thing. I can easily overwhelm myself just thinking about what needs to be done so we can go out to dinner.

Fifteen done out of fifty :)

In reading over the past few years what other mission101ers had on their lists, I kept noticing a Fifty Question meme that I decided to add it to my list after only doing a cursory scan-job of the questions. Deciding to finally do this task, in actually reading the questions, I realized that many are the kind that I don't really care for very much, word games, black & white choices etc.

Still, I have the task on my list so each day for the next ten days I'm going to post five questions in the order they are given by whoever made up this meme in the first place.

Day One:
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? I would like to say I’d be 25, all bright-eyed and bushy tailed, even if a 25-year old would never say such a thing, but since I’m not all that, instead I’ll say 35, not so bright-eyed, not so bushy tailed, a bit jaded, but still willing to gamble and to maybe lose it all because there’s still time enough to try again.

Which is worse, failing or never trying? If you never try then you have failed, you’ve failed at what you never tried and you’ve failed yourself. Lose/ lose.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? I can’t speak for others, but I’ve done things I didn’t like because they met some other more important goal like doing a job I didn’t care for so I’d be able to afford rent on a very small apartment that allowed me the much more important opportunity of living in San Francisco.
          As for liking things I haven’t done, I don’t agree with the statement since I don’t believe I can know I’ll like something until I have done it. I may imagine I will, but that’s not the same thing as knowing so with this, I disagree.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? The implication somehow being that saying is less than doing, yet I believe that saying is actually doing. Writers say all the time and in saying do. Still, I think I will probably have said a little more than I should have and done a little less, but how can I know for sure until all is said and done, which, hopefully, won’t be for a while yet.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? The world is fine just as it is and will go on being just fine long after we've quite possibly destroy not only our ability to live here, but the ability of any other beings who need the same type of environment we do. Manmade institutions are the problem and since I believe all of these are utterly intertwined one with the other; changing one problem alone won’t make a difference. Ending climate change won’t end poverty. Ending poverty won’t end intolerance. Ending intolerance won’t end pollution.
          That having been said, maybe if every human being suddenly became completely aware of the fragility of our world, how in the 13.6 billion year history of our universe, there has never been another planet like earth nor will there ever be another just like it again, and how every other single human being alive is wholly unique in the history of human beings then maybe we wouldn’t treat the planet or those others living on it with us so very badly.

Five done out of fifty :)

The Movie Meme


Rules: In a text post, list ten movies that have stayed with you, ten movies you're rewatched more than once or pushed your friends into watching or can't get out of your mind. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — and, yes, limit it to ten. Then tag ten friends and spread the madness.

In no particular order: (Man, this took a long time)

1_A. I.: Artificial Intelligence_(2001)_directed by Steven Speilberg_starring Haley Joel Osment & Jude Law.
From Wikipedia_PLOT_.In the late 21st century, global warming has flooded coastlines and a drastic reduction of the human population has occurred. There is a new class of robots called Mecha, advanced humanoids capable of emulating thoughts and emotions. David (Osment), a prototype model created by Cybertronics of New Jersey, is designed to resemble a human child and to display love for its human owners.
Images from this keeping coming back to me and always will. The story haunts.

2_Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron_(2002)_A Dreamworks Pictures annimation_Nominated for the Academy Award for Best Annimated Feature_Soundtrack by Hans Zimmer; Lyrics by Brian Adams, this is one of THE most beautiful soundtracks ever.
From Wikipedia_PLOT_The film follows the adventures of a young Kiger mustang stallion living in the 19th century wild west. In contrast to the way animals are portrayed in an anthropomorphic  style in other animated features, Spirit and his fellow horses communicate with each other through sounds and body language. Spirit's thoughts are narrated by his voice actor Matt Damon, but otherwise he has no dialogue.
Mine and Lauren's first, in a long long line, of beloved annimated films. We saw it, with a gaggle of her friends, for her 9th birthday.
3_Apcolypse Now_(1979)_Francis Ford Coppola_starring Martin Sheen, Robert Duval, and Larry Fishbone
From Wikipedia_PLOT_The film follows the central character, U.S. Army special operations officer Captain Benjamin L. Willard of MACV-SOG, on a mission to kill the renegade &presumed insane U.S. Army Special Forces Colonel Walter E. Kurtz.
I CANNOT hear helicopters without flashing back to this film. I saw it in San Francisco, with a gaggle of guy friends, first showing on the day it opened.

4_Pleasantville_(1998)_directed by Gary Ross_starring Tobey Maguire, Jeff Daniaes, and Reese Witherspoon
From me_PLOT_This is an American fantasy and hard to explain. Inadvertently, through the use of a strange TV remote control, a sister and brother, (Reese & Tobey) are transported into a marathon showing of the brother's favorite 1950s black & white sitcom, Pleasantville. It's about how two contemporary kids deal with living in a black & white world and their affect on that world that makes this movie so memorable.

5_Rise of the Guardians_(2012)_Dreamworks 3-D Annimation_Voice talents of Chris Pine, Alec Baldwin, Hugh Jackman, Isla Fisher, and Jude Law
From Wikipedia_PLOT_Tthe film tells a story about Guardians Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and the Sandman, who enlist Jack Frost to stop the Boogeyman from engulfing the world in darkness.
Very different in style from Spirit, this has to be one of the most beautifully annimated films I have seen. I love the golden sandman named Sandy; the bad-ass Russian-esque Santa named North; the half human-half hummingbird tooth fairy named Tooth; the also bad-ass Australian-esque easter bunny named Bunnynund; and the despondant, isolated eternally teenaged Jack Frost who is conjoled by the others to help them defeat the boogieman, Pitch Black who is the essence of fear and nightmares and who is wonderfully play by Jude Law. I especially love that each character, except Sandy and Jack , has their own uniique legion of minions with North's North Pole natives, the Yeltas being my favorite.

6_The Lord of the Rings Trilogy_(2001 to 2003)_directed by Peter Jackson_starring Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortenson, Ian McKellen, Sean Bean, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler plus a ton of others.
From Wikipedia_PLOT_Set in the fictional world of Middle-earth, the films follow the hobbit Frodo Baggins as he and a Fellowship embark on a quest to destroy the One Ring, and thus ensure the destruction of its maker, the Dark Lord Sauron
I can't really add anything except these films made the books live for me. Brillant.

7_The Harry Potter 7_(2001 to 2011)_various directors_Daniel Radcliff, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, and so on and on.
From me_PLOT_Neither I nor Wikipedia can summarize 7 movies easily. Suffice it to say that, within the wizarding world, located within but unknown to the non-wizarding world, there is a battle gearing up between light and dark that could bring about the ruin of both worlds with Hogwort's School of Witchcraft and Wizard at the center of the battle.
Between the books and the movies, from the time she was eight until Lauren was 17, our lives revolved around this series. Man it was fun. So much fun especially since in the middle of all that, they put out the three LOTR's movies. I told Lauren then that it was a very special time and it so was!

8_Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope_(1977)_directed by George Lucas_starring Mark Hamill, Alec Guinness, Harrison Ford, & Carrie Fisher
Taaken from Wikipedia_PLOT_A group of freedom fighters known as the Rebel Alliance and led by Princess Leia plots to destroy the Death Star space station, which carries a planet-destroying capability created by the Galactic Empire.
This movie amazed me the first time I saw it and is the only movie of the series that truely has withstood the test-of-time for me.

9_North By Northwest_(1959)_directed by Alfred Hitchcock_starring Cary Grant, James Mason, and Eva Marie Saint
From Wikipedia_PLOT_An American spy thriler, this is a tale of mistaken identity, with an innocent man pursued across the United States by agents of a mysterious organization who want to stop his interference in their plans to smuggle out microfilm containing government secrets.
I think I love this film because it is  pure Hitchcock and so very very stylish. The scenes with Grant dodging a crop duster in open fields and those invovling Mount Rushmore are never to be forgotten.

10_The Truman Show_(1990)_directed by Peter Weir_starring Jim Carrey, Ed Harris, and Laura Linney
From Wikipedia_PLOT_An American satirical, social, science fiction, comedy-drama, the film chronicles the life of a man who is initially unaware that he is living in a constructed reality television show, broadcast around the clock to billions of people around the globe. Truman becomes suspicious of his perceived reality and embarks on a quest to discover the truth about his life.
This film is included because of the way it has stuck with me all these years, it's so well done and the final scene so beautifully done.

I tag penelopes_web, skimmed_milk, later2nite, connorblond, michira_70, emo_snal, ashmedai, casey270, tv_fan_2008, and sexy_pumpkin

As am I. Well, I don't know about the beautifully part but I am absolutely sure about the done part :)

***

penelopes_web tagged me to take the challenge of listing 3 things to be thankful for, for 3 days.

Last week maybe, or maybe it was the week before, Alex ashmedai did a 'letter' meme where someone gives you a letter and you write about three or four words starting with that letter. He said he would give a letter to anyone who asked so, I did since I feel I haven't actually been participating in LJ as I should.


He gave me the letter S:
First word that came to me as I lay try to sleep was:
Stories: both reading them and writing them. Whether long stories or short, whether written last year or a hundred years ago, I love to read and I love to write, stories about fandom or about my own little world, maybe even more so about my own little world. When my dad died, reflecting on my own someday, I realized that I didn't so much mind dying for myself, as long as Lauren is settled, but that I minded that all the little people who have populated my head since I was t10 or so, would die with me never having had their stories told. So, to my satisfaction, I am.
Next came
Science: When people ask me what I believe in, I tell them science and not just because of what all the different sciences can reveal to us about who we are and where we live, but also about how science is done. While the goal matters, it's the journey that really counts and if it turns out that some long-cherished tenant of some beloved theory is proved wrong, eventually it will be discarded and something new will replace it. Moving ever forward.
Next came:
Sound: Actually sound & sight because since I'm somewhat lacking in the one -sight, I make up for that lacking with the other -sound. My world is full of sound, music is a constant because it grounds me, almost as if the music defines my borders. When I walk into a place with little or no sound like someone's quiet house, I feel disconnected, ill-at-ease, almost like in a void. Plus, I hear things others don't, far off distant things, the roar of a motorcycle for way too long, dogs barking in garages, a freakin' car alarm several blocks away that woke me up the other night and that then went on and on and on.
Finally, a lot more words come to mind but I chose:
Safe:Something I have pretty much always felt, but now no longer really do, living here in America. Movie theaters...nope, not really. Malls...not so much. College campuses...well, Santa Cruz is probably okay. I listen to the self-proclaimed 'good guy' NRAers and they scare me, seriously scare me. They don't make me feel safe, they make me feel vulnerable. I don't want to live in their world, one where it seems like a whole lot of people have just given up on even pretending to be civilized. It's like The Wild West all over again. How fun!! Like my husband, David, said 'I don't want to have to worry about whether the guy at the next table in the restaurant has a concealed weapon or not'.

Two hundred thousand people almost immediately joined the NRA after 20 five-year olds and five of their protectors were slaughtered. Record sales at gun shows...everywhere. Oh hell no, don't ask me for no background checks. What thehell good"ll that do? The criminals will still get their guns so, why the fuck do anything at all, right?? Notice how the NRA is using women as their spokesmen on CNN and elsewhere. Very clever. Still, I believe here are a lot of straight white men in this country that hate, women, blacks, gays, whoever, and they demand their right to be armed. Not all NRAers are haters, not all gun owners are irresponsible, but enough are that I no longer feel safe. I'd been thinking about wanting to leave this hotbed of liberalism I live, but now I'm thinking, maybe not. Rant over.

Okay, well, that was longer then I imagined it would be. Sorry if I blather on.

Wanna ask me for a letter?? Come on, you know you do. Right?